Once Upon a Time ... for Brooks

[Bara]

All the animals got together and they said, one to the other, "Why do all the humans have all the colleges and the universities? Aren't we smarter than they are?"

And all the animals and the birds and the reptiles and the fish said.... well, ask Big Tee....

So Zen said "Darnit. Let's start our own Animal College." And Cypress said "I'll be the Dean." Lucy said "May dogs join, too, please?"

And so it was. ER University for Animals was inaugurated.

Bara's dogs submitted their resumes :

...NEXT! Brooks?

[brooks]

;D ;D


Katrina said " Well we must not leave out the cats, I believe we should have one of each on the board of Directors."

Boris agreed and came up with the idea of having an election.
All the animals starting talking at once making a huge unbelievable noise.

Forry gasped the gavel with his teeth, and mumbled "Here, Here!!!!! Come to order!!!!"

Then the decided...........................

Bara your turn (I love it)

[Bara]

The Dean and the panel were sitting beneath the portrait of their founder, Music, when Lexie entered the hall. You could see that she was nervous. She kept scratching ...

She was applying for a place on the Modern Languages module. Being a German Shepherd, she has a smattering of German - and being as how she looks a bit like a Collie, she knows many of the rude words in Welsh...

However, she clinched it on Body Language and her command of English : "Sit!" "Stay" "Down!" "Come BACK here!"

Next up was Boo. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he felt he had a chance for Vocational Training - and as he's the one with the waggly tail, he thought he might charm the judges. His mum said that he couldn't go wrong with a solid Trade behind him....

Next up was Rad ...

[adcooper]

Rad wanted a journalism degree. He'd already started a blog about rock and roll, and had published a small story in Stolen Roan Magazine about the Voodoo Music Festival in New Orleans, from which he returned home with a lifetime supply of beaded necklaces, outrageous sunglasses and a lingering headache. Nevertheless, he'd gotten something in print--an equine interest story about Reggae horses and the new trend toward dredlocked manes and tails. He hoped this bit of success would compensate for his poor academic performance in younger days. (He'd been expelled from the Happy Trails Riding School for repeatedly dumping students down hillsides. Dancing he'd called it. Behavior unbecoming a gelding, the chief instructor had claimed.)

Rad approached the Dean's office, the very image of California Quarter horse Cool. Except for a trace of goat manure in the tip of his tail he looked like a promising young scholar.

[Bara]

The Dean, Cypress, turned to Katrina and nickered something. The whole Board of Directors snickered, nickered, purred, cheeped and barked.

All the would-be students shifted uncomfortably in their straw/on their beds/perches/fishbowls etc. Lexie muttered something rude, in Welsh ...

Rad was taking notes, he could see there might be a story in this. He had ambitions to take over the College newspaper and make his name as an editor. He planned to produce a new banner : "E.R.rata", he was thinking.

Forry was going for 'Speech and Drama' - although the 'speech' bit worried him a tad.

Truth was also going for the arts. He was worriedly scanning his prospectus and couldn't find 'The Art of Escaping from a Basement - using only hooves.'

As the selections continued in the hall, the first candidate, Boo, was out in the car-park, blinking in front of Rad's college TV cameras.

"Duh," was his first memorable statement. Rad stopped the cameras rolling.

"Well, I wanted to be in construction," barked Boo. "I'm very good at digging... But they've put me into archeology because I mentioned an interest in bones ..."

"What's archeology, please?"

Next out was Louie, back arched and tail stiff....

[adcooper]

Another nontraditional student, Louie had a film history of his own having performed voiceovers for a variety of alley cats in The Aristocats. A genuine beatnik, Louie had also performed a scat rendition of How High the Moon with his band (Louie and the Saskats) in front of packed barns on snowy nights (thousands of them), but time and ice had taken their toll and a few whiskers. Now Louie licked a paw and put his best ear forward as he approched the examiners' table. Sure he was an old cat, but he was a cool cat. Not content to merely study with the kits and pups and ponies, Louie presented himself as a full academic. An expert in American jazz and Canadian tractor repair, Louie felt sure the chancellors would appreciate his cross curricular capacities and offer him a departmental chair/scratching post without hesitation.

[niaru]

;D ;D ;D

In came Charm and Stella, in the midst of a heated argument. Snaking her head at Stella (who sat by the entrance, staying just out of reach), Charm was saying" "Yes I can be with Forry in Speech and Drama, too! Over the years I have perfected my soprano squeal and bad girl grunt, and I can play anything, you'll see. I can even be in a musical, you know how well I can dance! "
Stella, looking at her perfectly done nails (she'd spent most of the day at the groomers for the occasion), just mumbled to herself "No manners. No manners whatsoever". Then she got up, gave a little shake of her regal head which sent her blonde ears back, and said:
"Is the University in need of a Roman Languages / Nutrition professor and gymnastics coach?"

[brooks]

;D ;D ;D ;D






Boris and Natasha could not be found for the interviews. They were extremely busy investigating. They both wanted to become PI's and hoped the would offer classes.

Rad was having a hard time paying attention due to the fact the humans played a mean joke on him again.

[adcooper]

Tess groveled. Her bangs were in her eyes again, which she knew made her look unserious. But this matched her mustache, which did cover a severe overbite, and she knew that if Stella ever got one look at her terrier/dachsund/poodle/other terrier teeth, she'd be out the door in a hummingbird's heartbeat. So, she distracted the panel by groveling and apologizing for things she hadn't even done.

"I ate the rest of the chocolate wafers and left the celophane wrapper on the study floor. It was me. I am wretched. Forgive me. I'll never do it again." (Actually, it was Bruce. Tess always takes the blame for him. She hoped he would remember to write her a letter of recommendation.)

Cypress ignored the little dog. She always ignored little dogs. They were beneath her, and she hoped her subtle hints made her point. But usually they did not. Tess wriggled upside-down and backwards, smiling foolishly, gazing adoringly, and said:

"I wish to study cosmetology." (This was dangerous. Stella would surely take a second look at her now.)

[Bara]

Boo had turned into a quivering heap of lolling tongue and panting and frantically wagging tail when he spotted the tall French blonde with the perfectly manicured claws ...

Was it at the prison break-out? Was it on the desert island? Whenever he had last seen her, it was toooo long!

Stella slapped him upside the head.

It didn't help his entrance exam for archae-arche-archi - digging for bones. But a petite brunette with a handsome moustache said 'Im sorry, it was probably my fault...' Stella slapped her upside the head..

The faculty was trying to lure the services of Candandy, world famous Braille seeing-eye horse to head up the Special Needs department.

Rad and Louie were Saskat singing and discussing the merits of initiating 'North America's Animals Got Talent'.

Until you've heard a Californian horse and a Canadian cat jamming ... welll ...

[adcooper]

(Excuse me, but has anyone seen Big Tee? Her cat was really hoping she'd be here for moral support. He's afraid the snowplow is stuck again.)

[brooks]

Suddenly there was a hush in the room, in came a tall, dark strange. Heads were turning to see who this was, Rad turn to Forry and asked " Is he one of the English students?" Forry shakes his head "No, I have never seen him before, he is so oddly dressed."




Soon the hall quieted and students were informed that this tall, dark strangely dressed horse would not be another student but one of their teachers.

[adcooper]

Defence against the Dark Arts would be taught by professor Cypress Snake, the half brother of college dean Cypress Babe. As Snake strode into the hall, the Babe became very still. Nasrullah, she hissed under her breath. Nasrullah.

Tess trembled and crept backwards until she bumped into Stella, who was in such a state of stunned amazement she didn't even smack the little Terrioodlehund.

Lexie's growl was pitched so low that only Boo could hear her. He whimpered, wagged, cocked an ear, tapped his toenails nervously and otherwise fidgeted until Stella snapped out of her stupor and smacked him.

[niaru]

(you guys - I'm laughing out loud reading this. LOVE it!)

[Forry]

(Hmmm - I wonder if I should switch to 'Creative Writing'?)

"At once the hall grew still as death
No animal dared draw a breath.
The dark Snake held his sister's eye
And Cypress held her head up high.

The stranger stood and held his ground.
His dreadlock beads the only sound.
"Nasrullah." Cypress dipped her head.
"Cypress Babe." Nasrullah said.

Then ....."

OUCH! Edgie and Charm have just slapped me upside the head and told me to stick to Speech and Drama..

NO FAIR!!